ALL PAGES ©2003 BY JUMP MEDIA LTD.

And now for some really fine print... it's just standard legal stuff that was translated from a real lawyer, but it's still really important.
Here's the deal: We run this site so that people like you (and people you like) can use it for personal entertainment, information, education, communication, and cybergratification. So go ahead and browse around all you like. You can even download stuff from the site but only for non-commercial, personal use. If you do, though, don't fool around with the copyright and other notices all over the stuff. They're there for a really good reason. And don't even think about distributing, modifying, transmitting, reusing, reposting, or anything else uncool with any of the stuff, including text, images, audio, and video, for public or commercial purposes unless we give you written permission. And it's not likely we will. If you visit our site, you're also legally obligated to [read: stuck with] the terms and conditions listed below and any other law or regulation that applies to the site, the Internet, and the World Wide Web. You shouldn't access or browse the site if you have any problem with that, because once you start, there's no turning back -- you are bound by [read: stuck with] the terms and conditions.

So here's the scoop on our Top Ten Rules for Cybersurfers who hang out on our site:

1. For everyone's sake, just assume that everything on the site is copyrighted unless we say it's not. So you can't use the stuff except how we say you can on this page or anywhere else on the site without our written permission. And like we said before, it's not likely we'll give you permission anyway. In fact, even if we wanted to, the lawyers are likely to veto any deal anyway. So it's better you don't even ask.

2. While we try to include accurate stuff on the site, we're not promising you it's accurate. In fact, we're not promising you anything except fun and entertainment. So if you use stuff on the site, you're using it at your own risk. Don't call us if there's a problem because we assume no liability or responsibility for errors or omissions on the site.

3. We and anybody else who helped us create, produce, or deliver the site are not liable for any damages you suffer when you use it. In particular, the lawyers want you to know that our disclaimer includes "direct, incidental, consequential, indirect, or punitive damages arising out of your access to, or use of, the site. Without limiting the foregoing, everything on the site is provided to you 'AS IS' WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO, THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, OR NON-INFRINGEMENT. Please note that some jurisdictions may not allow the exclusion of implied warranties, so some of the above exclusions may not apply to you. Check your local laws for any restrictions or limitations regarding the exclusion of implied warranties." Ugh! What a mouthful from the mouthpieces. We put all of that in quotes because we couldn't figure out any other way to say it that the lawyers would accept. But here's the bottom line -- we're not responsible if you're browsing around and the site damages you or your computer or infects it with any nasty viruses. We sure hope that doesn't happen, but if it does, don't call us.

4. If you don't want the world to know something, don't post it on the Internet in any way, including in any survey, form, bulletin board or anyplace else. That's because anything you disclose to someone else becomes theirs, unless you make an agreement otherwise. This means that if you send us your ideas, legally, we can do anything we want with them. If we wanted to, we could reproduce them, disclose them, transmit them, publish them, broadcast them, and post them someplace else. Not only that, we get to use any intellectual property (ideas, concepts, know-hows, or techniques) you send to us, any way we want to, including developing, manufacturing, and marketing products or programs using the information you send to us. And we don't have to pay you for it. The bottom line is that if you want to keep something private, don't send it to anyone on the Internet. We sometimes run promotional or sales programs which require you to send us some personal information, like your name and address. If you are under 18 years of age, please ask your parent's permission before sending any personal information to this or any other website. We can't speak for anyone else, but when you provide us with your name, address, and e-mail address, or any other personal information, this stuff is treated as strictly confidential and will not be sold or rented for any reason. We use this information to respond to individuals and to better understand who our consumers are and what they like. And that's all we do with it. That's a promise.

5. Pictures of people or places shown on the site are either our property or someone else's property we're using with their permission. No matter what, it's definitely not your property. You or any of your netfriends can't use it unless we said you can on this page or somewhere else on the site. So guess what -- we won't say yes. So be careful, Bunky, because unauthorized use may violate all sorts of nasty laws. Be smart, keep the stuff you download to yourself.

6. There's also a lot of trademarks, logos, and service marks on the site, including ones like Jump Media Limited that either we own or we're using with someone else's permission. So don't think you have any kind of license or right to use them, because you don't and we're not about to give you one. If you don't leave them alone and mess with the trademarks, logos, and service marks on our site, we'll probably go ballistic -- so will the companies that own the other trademarks, logos, and service marks. That means that we're likely to sue you or to ask a prosecutor to come after you for messing around with our property or the property of others.

7. You'll probably notice that a lot of other sites are linked to ours. While that's cool, it doesn't mean we've looked at all those sites, much less checked them out periodically to see what's going on. So don't blame us if someone gives you wrong information about our website or has stuff on it that offends you or your pets. It's not our fault.

8. That brings us to what you do on our own site. While we occasionally listen in on chat groups, or look at all the postings in discussion groups or on bulletin boards, we take no responsibility and assume no liability for the content of those locations or for any mistakes, defamation, libel, slander, omissions, falsehoods, obscenity, pornography, or profanity you might encounter when you visit such places. And don't be stupid by posting or transmitting any unlawful, threatening, libellous, defamatory, obscene, scandalous, inflammatory, pornographic, nasty, mean, or profane material or any material that law enforcement types may consider a criminal offence, get someone in court on a civil lawsuit, or for that mater violate any law -- anywhere, anytime. While we certainly respect your privacy, we have no choice but to fully cooperate with any law enforcement authorities or court that asks us to cooperate in an investigation of illegal, nasty behaviour.

9. We're allowed to change this page or anything else on the site any time we want to. That's because it's ours and we have the programmers who can do it. If we do change the page, then you're bound by [read: stuck with] those changes, too, whenever you visit our site.

10. If this all sounds kind of mean and undiplomatic, you should have seen what the lawyers gave to us in the first place. We had to remind them that human torture and sacrifice was outlawed in the United Kingdom. Boy, did they look disappointed! There now, we're finished, the lawyers are happy, thanks for reading this message.